What is Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy?
For people who are experiencing sexual difficulties and have ruled out any physical reasons for them, the reason for the difficulty is probably psychological or it can difficult coming to terms with how a health condition is impacting your sex life and relationship.
How does Psychosexual Therapy work?
Our brains are very good at stopping our physical selves from carrying out things that it believes will damage us and it creates a block. Psychosexual Therapy (PST) is a desensitisation process which uses some CBT techniques to help you figure out the psychological blocks that are causing the sexual difficulties and work through them. Often PST involves homework that you can do in the privacy of your own home, alone or with a partner/s.
After an initial assessment to help rule out any physical causes for your difficulty, I will carry out a longer history taking session which helps me understand what you believe about sex and how you learned it. I provide psychosexual education throughout your sessions to enable you to get the best out of your sexual experiences... if that is what you want. Couples need to be in a stable and happy relationship in order to have psychosexual therapy.
PST never involves a physical exam and never requires the therapist to touch you at all.
Erectile Difficulties
Health conditions such as diabetes, high BP, metabolic syndrome and low levels of testosterone are linked to erectile dysfunction (ED) Stress, anxiety, depression and some medications can also be a factor.
ED can cause stress on a relationship or person and can be very anxiety inducing, causing negative thoughts to come into the mind when certain intimate or sexual activities begin or even the idea of them beginning.
ED is a common problem and can be helped with psychosexual therapy, which is ideal for anyone who is finds that tablets are not working for them.
Vulval and Vaginal Pain
Dyspareunia, vulvodynia and vaginismus
These are all big words which describe pain 'down there'.
Vulvodynia is persistent, unexplained pain in the vulval genital from the inner lips to the entrance the the vagina and can happen to people with vulvas of all ages. It can be a very distressing problem and cause embarrassment and a reluctance to be sexual, but it can be easily helped with PST.
https://vulvalpainsociety.org/about-vulval-pain/vulval-pain-conditions/
Loss of Desire
Loss of desire can happen to anyone at any age in any length of relationship. It can be impacted by taking SSRI medication (selective serotonin re uptake inhibitors) and also by menopause and andropause.
PST can help you to figure out why you lost your desire for sex and intimacy and help you get it back.
Orgasmic?
There is more to sexual activity than orgasm, but it's nice, right?
Health conditions such as diabetes and neurological disorders can inhibit the ability to orgasm and as we age, our sensitivity decreases, as does lubrication.
Some people have never experienced an orgasm and some are no longer able to or can only reach climax in certain ways and conditions.
If you'd like to change this, I can help, regardless of your gender. Sometimes I set homework to do solo or partnered (if that's an option for you), and with some sex education, you can learn more about your body and understand your arousal.
Compulsive Behaviours
Compulsive behaviour is another way to say urge. Compulsive behaviour comes from finding ways to soothe ourselves and sometimes we don't learn to do it in a healthy way.
Seeking new sexual partners, having risky sex or unsafe sex or feeling the urge to masturbate more often than you would like or using chems can be compulsive behaviours.
PST can help you to identify why you feel compelled to do things and help you to change them and stop if you feel motivated to do so.
Ejaculation issues
Ejaculatory control is compromised if you feel you ejaculate earlier or later than you'd like. This can cause shame and embarrassment, guilt, and anxiety. Sometimes issues can arise due to a particular masturbation style which means that unless this is replicated, ejaculation is difficult.
PST can help you get back to basics and learn to reset the way you ejaculate.
Sex and intimacy after abuse
Sexual, physical, emotional and psychological abuse can impact sexual functioning and intimacy no matter how recent or historic. I am deeply aware of how triggering a simple touch can be for someone who has experienced abuse. This can cause feelings of guilt, shame and obligation and puts pressure on relationships.
Similarly people can find themselves frequently seeking new sexual activity or partners in order to feel validated, desirable or loved but ultimately, don't feel good afterwards.
Feeling vulnerable is very hard when you have been through sexual abuse, but I can help you be stronger and redefine your boundaries and find your safe sexual self.
'Nothing in nature blooms all year'
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