Reflections from a therapist, wanderer, animal lover and human..
Tell Us A Tail Blog
The exploration of second hand affection
Vicarious Affection
As a therapist, I'm well-acquainted with the concept of vicarious trauma — the emotional residue left behind from bearing witness to someone else’s pain. We’re taught to be mindful of it, to guard against absorbing too much. But there’s a quieter, far less studied counterpart that rarely gets named. It’s a softer imprint accompanied by a warmth that lingers.
I like to call it vicarious affection.
The minefield of vulnerbaility and dating
Playing Emotional Chicken- Navigating Modern Dating
In the landscape of modern dating apps, those drop-down terms can feel like a never-ending buffet: situationship, casual fun, short-term, open to long-term, life partner. Each comes with its own definition — or rather, a hundred interpretations. One person’s “casual fun” might look identical to another’s “open to a life partner.” No wonder so many of us are confused, standing there like deer in headlights, desperate to feel less “too much” while holding that trembling heart in our hands.
What Cats Know That Humans Are Still Googling
9 Lessons (Not 9 Lives):
Why Cats Might Be the Final Stage of Enlightenment
Maybe the ultimate goal of being human isn’t wealth, fame, or self-optimization. Maybe the goal is to unlearn all the striving — to live with curiosity, joy, and self-acceptance — so that when we leave this world, the universe says..
The Inside Joke That's Not So Funny
Trusting Your Gut? Check the Expiry Date
The idea that we possess a kind of psychic pancreatic prophecy is one we put far too much stock in. It’s become a cultural wrap-up statement — a way of shutting down the real work of exploring what’s going on inside us.
80s TV and an Authentic Dog
Why Muttley is THE Spirit Animal
"Gimme a Medal, Gimme a Medal"